What IS it with some people? “She’s threatening to transfer the boy if we can’t do anything to make him be independent,” and yet she is working night and day to keep him FROM being independent.
The thing to do is to get that mom OUT of her son’s classroom. Give her something else to do — put her in charge of scrip or give her a committee to run or have somebody steal her minivan when school starts or SOMETHING.
The problem of course is that moms like this are NEVER willing to consider that they are the cause of their children’s behavioral problems (this boy is going to grow up to be whiny, sneaky, dishonest, and cruel, unless his mother gets out of his face now). You can show them survey after survey and they’ll still think that being right there for Li’l Punkin is the ONLY way, and God help you if you point any of this out to her.
Can your principal help get it through this mom’s head that one of the key points to kindergarten is to start training children to be independent, but it can’t happen if she’s constantly there?
Somebody needs, very calmly, to have a chat with her about how she is undermining her son’s independence. It may not do any good, and shey may transfer her son because she is offended… but at least he’ll be someone else’s problem, and you can work on the rest of the class for a change.
The sad thing is she’ll probably transfer to three schools by the end of the year; her son’s behavior will get WORSE because he can’t develop any relationships with the kids or teacher because she keeps yanking him out; and eventually she’ll find some doctor who’ll put the poor kid on Ritalin because SHE is a screwhead.
(Background — my wife is a kindergarten aide, after many years of being a “good” volunteer mom — we have one child starting college this year, another in 10th grade, and a third going into 4th. She’s been either a paid or volunteer worker in education since our oldest went into preschool 15 years ago. We see at least one doofus like this every year, the kind that makes you wish you had to have credentials to get pregnant. The principal at my wife’s school is a prize, and he would be an invaluable resource in a case like this.)
Best of luck!