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My Happy Family (Even with Teens, Stress & Conflict)

My Happy Fam Blog Top My Happy Family (Even with Teens, Stress & Conflict)

My great-niece, Nicki, posted on Facebook about her little two-year old son, Monroe. She wrote: “Bringing a plate of hash browns to Monroe, he says he likes ketchup on the side and I said I like it on top. Then the two year old says ‘mommy there are so many different ways we can compromise!’” That actually made me sad for a minute as I thought about how sweet it would be to hear a comment like that from our teenage daughter. Of course, I know there is a tremendous difference between a two-year old and an 18-year old, but still it was a little fantasy moment to imagine how good it would feel to have a child be that insightful. Kudos to the wise, little Monroe–whom I haven’t even met!

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As I dug around on the internet, I pondered what behavior might be missing–and I identified “cooperation.” It was an ah-ha moment for me that was very validating! I needed to learn more about cooperation, and I needed to help her understand how valuable cooperation is to both of us.

Cooperation & Conflict I spent a few hours clicking around and learning about different aspects of cooperation and its opposite, “conflict.” It was both enlightening and compelling. For example, the general consensus for the definition of cooperation in a family includes things like these:

If I look at the above list, it then becomes clear that my relationship with my daughter has suffered, because the cooperation level has been decreasing. Conflict ensues when we push against each other. She wants more privileges and less responsibilities. As a parent, I am trying to encourage more cooperation, respect, compliance in order to gain more privileges.

I was even able to ferret out some unhealthy choices that are near opposites of cooperation. These would include blaming, lying, arguing, shirking responsibility, anger, rejection, greed, jealousy, and non-participation in family activities, to mention a few that we’ve experienced. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a parent who has not been derailed by some or all of those behaviors. At least, I don’t think I’m alone in my exasperation.

Armed with this bit of information, I began writing some specific examples of things that had happened in our family that showed lack of cooperation. From those frustrating experiences, I compiled a list of expectations that I wanted to share with my daughter. We desperately needed to get on the same page! I waited until a good opportunity arose to discuss the issue–at a time when no infractions had occurred and we were on a pretty even keel.

Examples of Cooperation: We discussed at length these specific examples of cooperation:

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Some blog images from StockFreeImages.com As a thank you for reading this blog post, please enter the giveaway below for a chance to win a free bottle of doTERRA Slim & Sassy essential oil. a Rafflecopter giveaway The advice shared in this post has not been evaluated by the FDA. The products and methods recommended are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any illness or disease, nor is it intended to replace proper medical help.

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